


ordeal of being known

by wholesome_gay



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Birthday Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gift Giving, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), POV Remus Lupin, Post-Hogwarts, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23622352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wholesome_gay/pseuds/wholesome_gay
Summary: It's Remus's birthday and he's nervous about what Sirius might have in store for him.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 98





	ordeal of being known

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on tumblr a month ago but forgot to post it here. Oops!

Today was Remus's nineteenth birthday, and it was his first birthday since he and Sirius had become… well, whatever they were. 

In the morning, Sirius had made him a full English breakfast and snogged him thoroughly until Remus had to go to work (he had maintained, for the past two months, a part-time job at a secondhand bookshop). Now, it was afternoon, and, since the shop was quiet as usual, Remus had entirely too much time to dwell on his thoughts, which involved anxiety about what the evening would bring. He tapped his fingers on the counter like it was a keyboard, playing a song only he could hear.

For their first Christmas together, less than three months earlier, Sirius had surprised Remus with a two week trip to Italy. Under different circumstances - that is, if he wasn't poor, a werewolf, and riddled with an impressive inferiority complex - he would have loved to go to Italy with Sirius. But as it was, he couldn't accept such a gift. 

"Why not?" Sirius had asked, bewildered and clearly a bit upset. 

"Well, for one, I would lose my job if I took that much time off," Remus told him, irritated that Sirius hadn't considered this.

"Oh, Moony-"

"Please, don't interrupt. Secondly, I don't want you to spend that kind of money on me."

"Don't be ridiculous-"

"And last but not least, I'm a fucking werewolf, Sirius."

"What's that got to do with anything?!"

"It says so on my passport," Remus said through gritted teeth. "Europe declared a ban on Dark Creatures traveling internationally months ago. But I guess you weren't paying attention."

Needless to say, this led to a massive row. And although the makeup sex had been quite enjoyable, Remus was afraid that something similar awaited him this evening. He mentally prepared himself to turn down - perhaps a bit more politely than last time - whatever extravagant gift Sirius had in store for him.

It was unusually warm for March. Remus took off his coat on his walk home, trying to let the cool air soothe his nerves. Sometimes, Remus worried that Sirius would tire of him. In fact, he was surprised it hadn't happened already. They'd been roommates, just the two of them, for about half a year (since James moved out to live with Lily) and it was certainly different than sharing a dorm at school. And now that they were more than friends, Remus often felt that all of his worst qualities were out in the open like dirty laundry. Surely there had to be a limited number of days that Sirius would be willing to put up with him. 

Remus unlocked the front door and pushed it open cautiously. "Hello?" He was very much hoping that he wasn't about to be treated to a surprise party. He'd made it clear to James, Peter, and Sirius in third year that he did not like to be thrust into social engagements unprepared, especially if he was the sole focus, but Sirius had a selective memory.

Sirius emerged from their bedroom in a t-shirt and boxers, hair disheveled. It was a good sign - it meant that nothing too fancy had been planned for the night.

"'Lo, Moony." Sirius kissed him.

"Your breath stinks," Remus told him, wrinkling his nose.

"Aren't you a ray of sunshine." Sirius pointed his wand at his mouth and cast a quick freshening spell. "Bad day at work?"

Remus shrugged and hung up his coat.

"Well, come here.” Sirius put an arm around Remus’s shoulder and led him toward the bedroom that James used to occupy. “I’ve got something to show you.”

Remus couldn’t quite manage to unclench his jaw.

Sirius opened the door to the second bedroom.The two armchairs (curbside finds), various books, and philodendron monstera that used to occupy the center of the room were pushed to the sides of the room. Against the back wall was a beautiful upright piano, white keys golden in the light of the setting sun.

“Oh, god,” Remus mumbled, frozen in the doorway. It must have cost a fortune.

“Don’t be like that, Remus! I didn’t spend any money on it,” Sirius insisted.

“You… what?” 

Sirius took Remus’s hand and played with his fingers. “Okay, that’s not true. But I didn’t buy it. Just had it tuned.” 

“Where did you get it?” Remus asked, stunned. Where and why?

“It was sitting in the Potters’ basement. Been there for years, since James’ grandmother passed.”

“Oh.” Remus stared at the piano, almost expecting it to disappear when he looked away.

“I just thought,” Sirius started, looking up at Remus almost shyly, “Well, I remembered that you said you used to play, until your parents had to sell your piano in third year. Or was it second year? I don’t know. But if you don’t like it, we don’t have to keep it. And I’ll get you something else.”

“No, no. I-” Remus’s voice cracked. There was a gentle ache in his throat that warned of tears to come. “It’s lovely.”

Sirius’s face brightened. He intertwined their fingers and tugged Remus over to the piano. “I did a bit of charmwork on it,” he told him, patting the bench. 

Remus sat down. “What sort?”

“First of all, I did a spell that should keep it in tune forever,” Sirius said. “Or at least several years. We’ll see.”

Remus ran his fingers over the keys lightly, careful not to press down enough to elicit any sound. 

“And,” Sirius continued, elbow propped up on the lid of the piano, “this was a bit more complicated, but I worked it out eventually - when the lid is down, only you can hear yourself play.” 

Remus played a tentative scale. Sirius didn’t react to the sound. Sirius knew that he wouldn’t want to be heard practicing, that he would feel self-conscious until he learned a song thoroughly. He sat still for a moment, gazing down at the black and white, overwhelmed. It felt inexpressibly good to be known by someone - to be known by Sirius, who he just now realized had been paying attention all along.

Remus looked up at Sirius, who was biting his lip. “Thank you,” he told him.

“I had to make up for that disaster of a Christmas present,” Sirius said, smiling. 

“I think you might have managed it.” Remus couldn’t help but smile back. He reached out to touch Sirius’s face.

**Author's Note:**

> moonynpadfootforever.tumblr.com


End file.
